Wednesday, January 11, 2006
Was suffering from a minor hiccup in my life, a kind of minor decision making that would affect myself for time to come. Actually, i had sorta came to a decision, but needed a 2nd opinion, maybe even a third.
Naturally, if i could have things my way, i would have the cake and eat it. But it wasn't a simple personal choice, but something of a personal choice vs morals. Usually, morals aren't much of an issue, since i'm a selfish person, but this moral issue would affect next few years.
Don't quite catch what i'm saying? Of course, cause i cannot actually voice out the entire problem. Not because i don't dare to, but cause people ARE reading the crap i'm writing and its not my own personal diary. I have a certain standing to maintain..
Anyway, i got to a decision. (I had actually decided long ago) And thanks to Injenue, i double confirmed my ideas. Haha.. Its really great to have someone to talk to!
But most things are easier said than done. I realise in the course of certain actions, some people will be affected, and i might turn out in worse stead than before. Ironically, things might also become better. Everything at my fingertips and i'm not used to wielding such kind of power, cause :
With great power comes great responsibility.
And i hate responsiblilty... It would be nice to be a bastard and fuck the responsibility part, but i'm a nice guy. I can't bring myself to be a bastard. Sigh, its so tough being a good guy..
Anyway, it behooves me to make decisions that would affect many things. But isn't this a process of growing up? Suddenly i realise growing up is painful. Pardon my melancholy mood to this entry. Its late and i'm not thinking straight. (I'm lying again. I'm wide awake and having moodswings like a damn girl. Fuck)
Suddenly i don't feel like writing anymore. Ciaoz