Monday, November 28, 2005
Was walking to work yesterday when i came across this huge snake the size of Anaconda. It's as thick as a tree trunk and damn fucking long. I mistook it for a tree trunk and almost stepped on it when it reacted. I mean, what the fuck! How did snakes get so damn big!?!
It curled around my leg. I darted to the grassy land on my left, a speed which would have left a ferret gasping in awe. But that fucking snake refused to give up on me, giving chase. For something that big, it could move damn fast. It raised its head and bared it fangs, coming for an attack.
I lunged towards it, grappling its neck with my hands and using my legs to hold down the rest of the snake to prevent it from coiling around me. There, we stood locked in a deadly struggle for survival.
After an hour of grappling, i managed to hold it down in a stranglehold. Sensing a losing battle, the damn snake started wriggling to get out of my grasp. Slippery skin it had and it managed to run off back into the forest.
Thank god i do 1000pushups, 2000situps and run 500km every day. If not, i prolly would have been swallowed alive by that damn snake.
And that damn snake made me late for work. 1 hour late that kind. Fuck.
This, my friends, is totally truthful account of what happened to me yesterday. Either this or its a little green grass snake which slithered off in alarm after seeing me, i can't remember which.